I know the family

that used to live 2 doors down hasn’t learned….ran up cc, took note out against house, ran them up again and did the same thing. They have since abandoned this house, 3 yrs ago, they still pay the mortgages but haven’t done anything with it. They didn’t rent it, try to sell it, just a waste sitting there–no electric/water, so you know it is nasty in there. The house they are renting right now is what she feels they should have been living in when they lived here—2500sf, pool, 5 bedroom, 4 bath, gourmet kitchen. She is still playing the “keeping up with the Jones family” game and you know I never did like those Jones people.

Unfortunately some people never learn

One day dh asked his mother why in the world she kept running up credit cards far beyond their lines and then taking out more credit cards to pay them. Her response “Well I’ll die soon (this was 15 years ago) and not have to worry about it. Then it will be your problem.” Seriously she said that to his face right after we had bailed her out yet again. We should have walked off right then and there, but we were stupid and didn’t instead we fixed it where she couldn’t get credit cards for years.
You would think that her children would have learned from her poor example, but dh and I are the only ones that don’t use credit cards. The other three are almost as over extended as their mother was when she made that statement to us.

Uhhh, that would mean giving up something else

like athletics in order to fit it in the budget. LOL! Did you all see the news story where Washington,DC is considering removing civics classes from its curriculum, but the kidswould have to take an extra gym class credit to replace it? Jan who says that PE is good, but it is not the end all to educating our kids in OK

I actually go back and forth on this point

in terms of my own choices. I KNEW, early on, that paying for things via credit card was expensive. I KNEW, early on, that compounding interest is a wonderful thing for savings accounts, and a terrible thing for credit card users. I KNEW that if I put $5 on my credit card, I’d actually end up paying $20 (or $50 or $100) for that item. I KNEW all that stuff.
But when I went through my divorce, none of that stuff mattered. None of that even entered into the equation. I was in such denial about so many things, that you could have told me that rain was wet or snow was cold, and I would have argued with you. I think the thing that kept me in that state of denial for so long, was thinking that I personally could somehow magically stay ahead of that monster. Sort of like teenagers are convinced they’re immortal and know-it-alls. I had people telling me early on that I was on a path of destruction, and either I chose not to hear them, not to believe them, or otherwise waved some mental magic wand that made all their points irrelevant. And now here we are.
I think it takes more than education. I had all that information. I think the education is necessary, but somehow it’s not sufficient. I don’t know what the missing ingredient is, since a lot of people around me tried to help me see the trouble I was headed towards. Then one day, I realized “oh, dang, they were right!” Not sure what made the difference. Maybe hitting bottom. Maybe hitting bottom + hearing stories about how other people hit bottom THEN climbed back up. During my first FPU class, I was so angry – angry at being told that not only was bottoming out not necessary, I could rise above it if I was already there. I think if DR hadn’t related the story of his own bankruptcy, I would have stood up and walked out. But he had been there, done that, and come back from that pit. That was the only reason I stayed in the class. But how to avoid it 15 years prior? I still don’t know that one.

It’s that time of year

The scammers know that most of the nation put Christmas on a credit card and the bills are now arriving. Meaning PANIC is setting in? for a large percentage of those folks. So they appeal to their need and greed and sucker them in. I know it is hard to believe that anyone would fall for these scams, but hundreds do daily. It is really scary. Jan who thinks they should teach a class on how to spot a scam email/letter/text in high school in OK

I once interviewed for a job

where the salary was quite a bit lower than what I had previously earned, and the interviewer asked me if I would be willing to accept the lower pay. I don’t think I did a good job answering that question, but by that point in the interview, I had already decided the job wasn’t a good fit for me.
I don’t like disclosing my salary history to anyone, but every interview I’ve been to has required me to complete an application in addition to my resume, and that’s always one of the questions.
At least I learned to have a better answer to the lower-salary question.

One of the things we’re working on here, is something we’ve named the Dashboard Report

It’s a summary of all the different categories we need to think about and keep track of, with a summary of current status, in a table format. But the best part, is that each line item on each table, has an “indicator color” as the first column in the table – either Green, Yellow or Red. So we can scan down the report, know that “green” means everything is clicking along well in that particular category, or yellow for something isn’t what it should be, or red for “this is a distinct problem we need to deal with ASAP.” We’ve just started using it, after a very long and tiresome series of arguments where I’d complain that this-or-that is in bad shape, DH would complain he never knows what’s going on, and we’d both lose track of priorities. There’s still a certain amount of room for disagreement over whether something should be yellow vs red or green vs yellow. But neither of us can claim to be surprised by some unknown issue that fell through the cracks anymore. As a plus, we get to see changes over the months, as things move from red to yellow, or yellow to green. And we get to see instant gratification for all the green line items. It has been an experimental way to communicate a heckuva lot of info, but so far it’s working pretty well. I’ll post it to Files if anyone else is interested.

I’m running into many that want a specific number

One lady said something like, “It doesn’t do any good to submit you for the job if
you’re looking to get $60K and the position only pays $30K.” I had another headhunter tell me that if my minimum acceptable salary was a
certain number, he didn’t want to waste my time or the potential company by trying to match me up to a job where the salary was $20K
less than that. I also saw an application last week for a company that even STATED, “Open, negotiable, or DOE is NOT an acceptable answer.”

I don’t know how you are negotiating

but honestly in my opinion your past salary is irrelevant; you should just put “negotiable” on the
application and if they ask — give a range not your specific salary; Most managers have a pay band based on experience and qualifications so that’s what they are looking to balance against. We were told by our corporate HR team that it’s not illegal to ask for a pay
stub but it’s extremely unusual… in this case the winning company bid salaries at 60% the current rate. So if I made $100K I would be offered $60K because it’s a firm fixed price (no room for negotiation). Bottom line, when interviewing I suggest giving a range of perhaps your current salary to $15 more which gives you negotiating room to get to the middle if all goes well.

oops! just meant to add

it’s nice to have someone give you a reality check and let you know that all is not doom and gloom, but there are some wonderful pluses to your life that you just might not be seeing at the moment. you guys are doing a fantastic job. life’s good…now, if you can just come up with that extra land payment money, life will be fantastic! (big grin from me here)